Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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