There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
