Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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