he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
