They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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