apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
