It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
