all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
