i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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