toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
