The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
