did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
