we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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