These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
