Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
