I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
