Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
