I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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