i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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