i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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