your parents love me but you hate me
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
