I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
