After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
4 words: hood of his car
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
