she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
