she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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