turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
