So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
whose ass print is on the piano?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
