I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
