evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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