garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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