tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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