I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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