Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You're like the curious george of whores
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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