I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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