Whod you bang
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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