garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
