Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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