dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
