so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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