Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
