Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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