just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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