Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She's the barista slut.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
