I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
