dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
