People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
