please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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