Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

(817): View more from Texas

told ya

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(417): View more from Missouri

He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.

(417): View more from Missouri

He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!

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(213): View more from California

are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town

(1-213): View more from California

well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT

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(720): View more from Colorado

just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?

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(440): View more from Ohio

HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.

(440): View more from Ohio

If I remember correctly he wasn’t

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