i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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