I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
